shitmydadsays on the Tweeter

I'm late to the game on this one (late for at least 710,010 followers ), but you must start following shitmydadsays, which is written by Justin Halpern, a 29 year old, California-based rando who recently moved back in with his parents.  By simply tweeting the snarky remarks his 73 year old dad makes, this guy landed a book deal AND an option deal with CBS. Holy jackpot. He's only been tweeting since AUGUST??  Here are some of my faves:

"The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain't spitting it out."12:51 PM Oct 22nd from web

"Just pay the parking ticket. Don't be so outraged. You're not a freedom fighter in the civil rights movement. You double parked."12:59 PM Oct 18th from web
"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."12:10 PM Oct 12th from web
"My flight lands at 9:30 on Sunday...You want to watch what? What the fuck is mad men? I'm a mad man if you don't pick me the hell up."5:42 PM Aug 15th from web



Via: Mashable